I hear stories all the time of men who have done hurtful things — whether it’s an affair or saying something very mean and spiteful — there are many guys who say, “I’m sorry” and expect it all to go away. When it doesn’t “go away” these guys get upset and throw it back on their wives or girlfriends because they “can’t get over it”. It just doesn’t work that way for women. Men need to learn that pushing her to “move on” isn’t the answer. The answer is for you to own the problem that you’ve created.
It’s not her problem of unforgiveness. It’s not that she won’t accept your apology. She’s still hurting and it’s going to take some time for her to get over it. Men rarely see the connection between the offense and the continued emotions. It’s like they dropped the atomic bomb but don’t realize that there is fallout beyond the initial explosion that they will have to keep cleaning up and dealing with. Men, when you hurt your wife or girlfriend and you see she’s still dealing with it, the absolute worse recourse is to turn it around and put it on her. Instead, you should look at them and say, “I see you are still hurting. I understand this is still painful. I realize I did this to you. I’m sorry.” Then shut up! Don’t defend yourself, make excuses or blame her. Every time you see it, you own it. Even if you have to do it a 100 times. That’s just the way it is.
Remember guys, when it comes to apologies, women do not have an “apology box.” Don’t make the mistake of thinking or saying, “I said I was sorry! Just move on!” Don’t put the rap on her, or she will end up thinking you are not sorry at all.
I’ve learned this the hard way but I can confidently state that if you follow this advice with a sincere heart and take the steps to avoid making the same mistakes and indiscretions over and over, this is your best recourse. Girls, I’d love to get your thoughts on this!