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👑 How To Apologize And Own It

I hear stories all the time of men who have done hurtful things — whether it’s an affair or saying something very mean and spiteful — there are many guys who say, “I’m sorry” and expect it all to go away. When it doesn’t “go away” these guys get upset and throw it back on their wives or girlfriends because they “can’t get over it”. It just doesn’t work that way for women. Men need to learn that pushing her to “move on” isn’t the answer. The answer is for you to own the problem that you’ve created.

It’s not her problem of unforgiveness. It’s not that she won’t accept your apology. She’s still hurting and it’s going to take some time for her to get over it. Men rarely see the connection between the offense and the continued emotions. It’s like they dropped the atomic bomb but don’t realize that there is fallout beyond the initial explosion that they will have to keep cleaning up and dealing with. Men, when you hurt your wife or girlfriend and you see she’s still dealing with it, the absolute worse recourse is to turn it around and put it on her. Instead, you should look at them and say, “I see you are still hurting. I understand this is still painful. I realize I did this to you. I’m sorry.” Then shut up! Don’t defend yourself, make excuses or blame her. Every time you see it, you own it. Even if you have to do it a 100 times. That’s just the way it is.

Remember guys, when it comes to apologies, women do not have an “apology box.” Don’t make the mistake of thinking or saying, “I said I was sorry! Just move on!” Don’t put the rap on her, or she will end up thinking you are not sorry at all.

I’ve learned this the hard way but I can confidently state that if you follow this advice with a sincere heart and take the steps to avoid making the same mistakes and indiscretions over and over, this is your best recourse. Girls, I’d love to get your thoughts on this!

About

I am blessed with two amazing kids and I’m a Christian Music fanatic! I also love to write and my websites and bible studies keep me busy as well. At this point in my life, my focus is on fellowship and my existing relationships with God, my children and with family. In Christ, Derrick

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5 Comments on "👑 How To Apologize And Own It"

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gigi baluyot
Member

My husband put the blame on me why he had affairs in the past. Am sad he didnt realize that he is responsible for all his actions and not put the blame on someone. Hope he can read your words about apology. Again, God bless.

tinymum
Member

this is exactly how I want my husband to feel about me coz I’m the one he has wronged. It’s only been 2months after his affair and he’s angry at me for not being over it. I mean I try to put it behind me and I pray a lot for it to be over, but he’s not helping me get through this painful thing he’s caused me! He’s mad at me and said to just move on. The more he say it, the more it’s hurting me.

Lorren
Guest

It’s a pelusare to find such rationality in an answer. Welcome to the debate.

Robert
Guest

Hello Derrick, how about a blog entry about how a christian man should apologize to a co-worker or another male friend?

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The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. — Psalm 25:14-15

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