God has continually opened my eyes to the pain of the dishonored and shamed women in our world and as a result, my spirit and conscious has become immensely overwhelmed by the weight of these transgressions and dishonor that men have shown women for generations. I cannot speak on behalf of all men, yet I believe the Holy Spirit has led me to express the sincerest of apologies for not honoring you the way men should honor women.
I’m sorry for the way that men have abandoned women. To every little girl whose dad was too busy at work to notice her artwork … for every school play that we missed because of needing to work late one more night … for every daughter whose father was out saving or exploring the world but didn’t notice he was losing his own girl. I am truly sorry.
When the moment of battle was upon us, we were meant to fight. We were meant to do something, even if it’s the wrong thing. But we have been too silent, too passive and we have left you to fight your own battles.
We’ve left our adolescent girls to find out about their sexuality in the backseat of the boy’s car, rather than in open conversation and in the sanctity of our home. I am sorry for the silence … that we haven’t spoken to you more. And I’m sorry that we have been so unable to show our daughter’s affection. You wanted to roll in the grass, to ride on our shoulders, to sit in our laps and to read that bedtime story.
I want to say that I’m sorry for every little girl or wife whose dad or husband left home and failed to return. You were the hidden treasure and we didn’t know it. There was no other treasure. And for far too many, it’s now too late.
I’m sorry for the ways we have used you for our advantage … for looking upon you as an object rather than a person … a sister in Christ. I’m sorry for replacing you with a bottle and with women on a computer screen. I’m sorry for the many unthinkable ways that we have used women to momentarily soothe our own deep, inward and disgraceful shame.
When we’re honest with ourselves and with God however, most men see women for whom you are. You have discernment that we simply do not have. You notice tiny, subtle details when we see nothing at all. We’re amazed at how deeply you feel things and how easily you express those feelings. We’re amazed at how multidimensional you are … interweaving softness and strength and how you’ve endured and persevered through so much.
As a committed man of God, I do not seek to own you, use you or control you. Only to admire you and to edify you. To thank you, sincerely. To tell you I love you. And I’m sorry.
Yours in Christ …
Thank you for the apology I needed from my dad and a husband or two that I would probably never get otherwise
Derrick,
I am so blessed to have found your writings. What I have read so far, especially this post, hits home for me as well, and I have incorporated your prayer to release anger into my daily rituals. I thank God that I found your writings as they are helping me through a very difficult point in my life. Please know that even though we have never met you have had a positive impact on my life. Thank you and may God bless you.
-Craig
God’s blessings to you as well, Gigi! 🙂
Dear Derrick,
U made me cry. How great God is for letting u see our worth. God bless u.
Thanks for the comment EM. God’s Blessings to you brother.
This one hits home for me, & for too many other folks I’m sure, who are close to women who have suffered through many of the things mentioned in your very well-written article. This is such a sick place, why do we love it?