If you or anyone close to you is currently involved in a personal relationship that is in turmoil, I would like to offer the following as an out of the box, and most importantly, a Godly perspective to approaching and resolving these difficult times in our lives and to find the peace that is deserved by both those involved and those affected from the inevitable repercussions.
Peace is an embodiment that can only come through complete love, Christ’s love. To truly live with peace and unwavering love, sacrificing our values and beliefs is not a necessity. Instead, we should focus on the individual, and not the problem. Although it may manifest itself as a one-sided peace, a one-sided love, the process must invariably begin with you.
As we seek to become like Christ, we see beyond the outward appearance, beyond the hurtful words and actions, to see the mother or daughter, father or son, husband or wife, that is loved and valued by God. We see them through His eyes again, and not our own.
The relationship I lost has been an immensely painful experience but what I have learned has helped me profoundly. I’ve learned to love people more and not expect anything in return. I’ve realized the absolute importance of replacing blame, guilt, shame…the entire lamenting routine with an invariable responsibility. A responsibility to our children and to my family. Most importantly, a responsibility first and foremost to leading a life centered on Christ. When this point is reached, you begin to understand the delineation between simply attending church…listening to a Christian cd here and there, quoting scripture and telling people you’re a Christian. These are all admirable traits but until you have a “personal relationship” with Christ, you’re only “attending” church and not absorbing the Word, you’re only “listening” to Christian music and not hearing it, only “quoting” scripture and “telling people” you’re a Christian rather than living it.
In retrospect, I am thankful to God for closing this door in my life. I’m thankful because it was through his grace and timing that He placed certain individuals in my life that have led me into and through this new door filled with hope, salvation and peace. This promise has emptied my life of the pride and conformity that were once so pervasive and replaced it with acceptance, openness, forgiveness and sincerity.
Proverbs 13:12 states, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
When we reject God’s hope for our lives (which is often manifested through conformity, pride, materialism, indifference..) we sense that our fulfillment (our heart) has become lost and perhaps forgotten (sick). Desire fulfilled is a way of saying God’s will is our hearts desire. It will bloom and give fruit to fill everything with life and love.
When you remain centered on God’s will and His timing, you begin to think differently. You begin to use the discernment and the wisdom that He has graciously provided and ingrained within us so that we may have the opportunity to live our lives with clarity and hope…to discern between what reveals our weaknesses and what brings out our strengths…who creates loss and who creates gain…which door to choose when one becomes closed.
Through our faithful heart’s desire, God can and will answer our prayers and ensure a pathway to peace.
Love is an elixir; a human lives with love, is made happy by love and makes those around him or her happy with love. In the vocabulary of humanity, love is life; we feel and sense each other with love.
by Fethullah Gulen
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